Dinner

I pretty much didn't think twice about my family's dinner habits until my friend in 4th grade came over and ate dinner with us.  She seemed surprised about the way we ate dinner - how all the food was just laid out on the table and we could have as many servings as we wanted.  I remember her trying mashed potatoes for the first time and me being incredulous that she had never had them before, while my family ate mashed potatoes every other week or so.  Since then I have been more aware of other people's cultures and habits around the dinner table.  Last time I ate dinner with another family was an interesting experience because of the food served, although dinner table conduct was relatively similar to that of my family.  We ate chili, which my mom just doesn't like so she never cooks it.  My family attempts to have actual family dinners where we sit around the table all together (usually the only time of day we're all together) and have conversations about our days, or about anything interesting that's happened recently.  It can feel boring at times, but it's just how my family is and I'm glad to be a part of this culture.

The Meaning of A Name

Every year, while the rest of the world goes crazy over March Madness, I log onto www.nameoftheyear.com and vote for the year's best names.  Names in the running this year include Kobe Buffalomeat, Quindarius Monday, and my personal favorite: Le'Genius Wisdom Williams.  These are names of real people - lawyers, professors, and various sports players.  I find this contest hilarious and a lot of fun, but I also can't help but wonder what it would be like to be named something so utterly unique and crazy like Harmony Excellent... or Hunter Humann.

For many other people, their name is part of their identity, and affects them in many ways.  Some with unconventional names run into all kinds of annoyances with people struggling to pronounce their names, or even with trying to get a job.  Some people feel that their name somehow defines their identity, and struggle inwardly with the disconnect between their name and their personality.  But personally, I don't feel like my name really means anything at all.  Michelle is just what people call me, for convenience, to differentiate me from some other random person named some other random jumble of letters.  Oftentimes I wish my name was more unique.  I am rarely the only Michelle in my grade or in my school, and it can get slightly annoying.  I wish that when I searched "Michelle Hung" on Google, my actual face shows up not some random Chinese woman.  Sometimes I half-joke that my goal in life is to get my face in the first entry if you search up my name on Google.  And the next step - be the first (legitimate) entry under my name in Wikipedia.  But these things don't bother me enough for me to change my name, at least not now.

There isn't really a story behind my name, my parents just liked it.  I don't really think my name fits me... but I don't really know what name would - in my opinion, a person can't/shouldn't (at least fully) be defined by a collection of letters their parents chose for them.  Therefore, I have largely ignored my name, and it hasn't really affected me at all as far as I know.  But I certainly understand and respect that some people care a lot about their names - like Gogol.  Gogol's name makes him feel insecure, and he feels that people judge him after only hearing his foreign, funny-sounding name.  Maybe if my name was stranger, I would feel the same way.  But as it is, I can only observe others' experiences, and understand them, but not really experience the same feelings myself.

Heritage

I am half Russian (mom's side) and half Chinese (dad's side).  My mom grew up in the Soviet Union, and moved to the United States when she was 15, while my dad was born in California and raised in Alabama.  When asked which culture or ethnicity I identify with more, I really don't know what to say, since few elements of Russian or Chinese culture are important to who I am.  I'm American, and I happen to be half Russian, half Chinese.  It's an interesting mix, and people usually seem intrigued and want to learn more about my culture, but honestly I'm pretty much just American, although I respect traditions of my relatives.  My mom, although being from Russia, doesn't celebrate any Russian traditions (there just aren't that many of them...) and my dad can't even speak Chinese.  My grandparents are more intimately connected with their cultures - my mom's mother cooks Russian food when she comes over, and my dad's mother cooks traditional Chinese food and celebrates Chinese New Year.  There's also my Jewish heritage - my mom's dad and his whole family is Jewish, and though they aren't strictly kosher or anything, that culture is very important to them, and I see a lot of that during family reunions.  The history of my mom's last name is also interesting.  Before she was born, her dad had a Russian name that was clearly Jewish, and changed it to the Russian but not Jewish "Kremnova" after his favorite teacher.  Later, when her family moved to the U.S. they changed their last name to Cohen, going back to their Jewish roots but keeping it simple.  To sum up, my name and my heritage aren't very important to me compared to many other people, but there is a lot of interesting history in my family, which I like learning about and I respect.

Irrationality in Human Behavior

I think that irrationality is a huge element of the human experience.  Without irrationality, we are perfect, rational robots without free will.  Though we can strive to be perfectly rational, it is impossible and we end up being defined more by our irrational elements than anything else.  Many dangerous sports or activities are not the smartest idea to participate in when evaluated completely rationally, yet many people in the world play football, dive in the ocean, or ski through trees.  From a rational perspective, these activities probably have a negative expected value of gain, meaning that the amount of pleasure or enjoyment you get from doing this activity is probably small in comparison to the immense risk of injury or loss.  Yet, people including myself do these things because they are fun, and because sometimes the danger of an activity is what makes it exciting.

One personal example of how I can be irrational is the amount of time I spend on my phone.  Rationally, it would serve me better to get started on homework earlier or to do something more constructive than scroll through facebook or snapchat people strange pictures of myself.  From an outsider's perspective, these things can seem silly and stupid, and clearly irrational if my goal is to do well in school and be as efficient as possible with my time.  And yet, many people all over the world spend too much time on their phones, and this is part of what defines their, and my, existence.  Also, a simple example is procrastination.  Rationally, procrastination is stupid and I would expend the same amount of energy doing homework sooner rather than later, and be happier and less stressed out.  And yet I still procrastinate to no end.  Why?  Because I don't feel like doing homework all the time... because I would rather go on my phone now... and ultimately, because I'm human.

My Writing Evolution

I think I have definitely improved in my analytical writing since freshman year.  My greatest challenge last year was connecting my evidence and commentary back to the thesis.  This change just came through practice, and I got better quickly after realizing what was expected from an analytical essay.  I also have improved at writing good thesis statements that address the So what? question.

I need to work on being less wordy and in general being more concise and not taking many pages to express one idea.  I'm better about this when given a word limit, but when I'm free to write however much I write, I feel like I end up writing too much.  Also, I need to get better at writing quickly but retaining the same quality of writing.  When crafting a take-home essay, I can spend hours thinking about what the structure of my paragraphs will be, and each paragraph takes me about an hour to write, if I am doing my best work.  I would like to be able to write well while finishing an essay in 1-2 hours rather than taking an entire night...

When I write an essay, I basically go in order from introduction to conclusion.  First, I think about the essay question and get a general idea in my brain about what I will be arguing.  Then write the introduction except the thesis.  At that point, I brainstorm, for hours sometimes, about exactly how I want to structure my essay and what I will argue in each paragraph, and I write an outline for each paragraph.  This outline consists of my topic sentence, and a few bullet points about what I will argue and what examples could be relevant.  Then I write my thesis.  Afterwards, I jump into writing the paragraphs.  The whole time that I'm writing, I'll get ideas about a good idea, quote, or phrasing that I can include in a future paragraph, and I add it in to the outline for that paragraph.  When I think of a good phrasing for some idea I have, I don't want to forget it, so I write it down; oftentimes, I can end up getting sidetracked for a while writing about some idea for a future paragraph.  My conclusion sometimes ends up being a page long, or longer, because I have so many ideas for it while I'm writing my body paragraphs.  One unique thing about my writing style is that I don't follow the conventional process of writing a rough draft, then going through and editing.  If a sentence isn't perfect when I'm writing it, I'll sit there and keep rephrasing it until I'm satisfied.  So, I end up with my "rough" draft pretty much being my final draft.  I later read it over, mostly to delete or add sentences or rephrase further, but much of my editing is done while writing.

Is is Name Just a Word, or is it Something More?

     In today's American tradition, most women take on their husband's last name when they marry.  With the rise of feminism, an increasing number of women keep their maiden names through marriage.  I think that although this tradition is based on some notion of male superiority and ownership over women in our history, in modern times it is only significant if people choose to make it significant.
     In a equal relationship between two adults, the woman taking on the husband's last name is simply a matter of tradition and does not necessarily signify any sort of male superiority, if they don't think of it that way.
     On the other hand, if the relationship is such that the male presumes superiority over his wife, then the woman taking on the man's last name signifies a trend of male superiority and ownership.
     A name may seem a trivial part of a human, and I believe that if a woman does not let the loss of her name affect her, it won't.  But in many cases, a name can grow in importance to signify much more than just a word - a status, and an identity.  In the case of Katherine, in Taming of the Shrew, when she loses her name by marriage, she also loses part of her identity as an independent woman.
     In summary, I think that a woman taking her husband's last name is simply a harmless tradition - until it becomes more than that.  A lot of times, a name becomes representative of that person's identity, and holding on to a name can be a very important thing.

What is Feminism, and do I Believe in it?

Feminism, as defined by Google, is "the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes."  Many of us, including myself, would agree that men and women should be treated equally.  Few would outright admit to being a sexist, and as a female, I certainly don't identify as one.

Despite this, there is a social stigma surrounding the word "feminism".  When somebody says "I am a feminist", others assume a wide range of things about that person, such as that they hate men, that they think women are superior to men, or just bossy.  In addition, when a person denies being feminist, it is sometimes assumed that they are sexist, or believe that men are superior to women.  These assumptions stem from a misconception or a disagreement about what a "feminist" is.  Most self-proclaimed feminists believe in equality of men and women, and certainly don't hate men.  In this definition of feminism, I am a feminist, because I believe that men and women should have equal rights.

When I am asked whether I am a feminist, I shrug and say no, because I don't want to be associated with assumptions and stigmas surrounding the word.  Hopefully, in the future, being a feminist will be seen as just, and purely about the equality of men and women, not anything else.